Haven't laughed this hard in a long time
I better stop now before I start crying
Go off to sleep in the sunshine
I don't want to see the day when it's dying
She's a sight to see, she's good to me
I'm already somebody's baby
She's a pretty thing and she knows everything
But I'm already somebody's baby
You don't deserve to be lonely
But those drugs you got won't make you feel better
Pretty soon you'll find it's the only
Little part of your life you're keeping together
I'm nice to you, I could make it through
That you're already somebody's baby
I could make you smile if you stayed a while
But how long will you stay with me baby
Because your candle burns too bright
Well, I almost forgot it was twilight
Even if I think that you are right
Well, I'm tired of being down, I got no fight
You're wonderful, when it's beautiful
But I'm already somebody's baby
And if I went with you I'd disappoint you too
Well, I'm already somebody's baby
Already somebody's baby.

Twilight - Elliot Smith

i played this song seven times in a row at 4 am, swinging from a swing right outside my apartment and it has been ages since i last sat on a one, in fact i almost never sat on a swing. i never really played much on the playground when i was young because my parents didnt have the time to bring me there and once when i petulantly asked to, my dad swung me so high i never dared to ask him to help me play with it again.

today i swung myself higher and higher, leaving trackmarks behind on the soft ground that i used to propel myself up; i invariably scar everything i put my feet on and it is quite maudlin because i do not think the land will be solid enough to support me kicking myself back and forth repeatedly for four months. what happens then?

tomorrow at 4 am, i will celebrate Fasnacht, today at 4 am i will willing submerge myself into a throng of people for a once in a lifetime festival. sometimes in life you hope that certain things are worth it.